If you are thinking about having sex for the first time, you may have a lot of questions and some concerns.
We hope that the following information will help you through this experience and offer you some guidance.
What is sex ?
Sex is the exchange of touches between people who are aroused and who are seeking sexual pleasure. It is not limited to penetration, nor must it always lead to orgasm. It includes kissing, touching, caressing, exploring your partner’s body, mutual masturbation, and more. Everyone brings his or her own meaning to sex and each time is unique.
Tenderness and imagination
To make the first time easier, it is important to respect the other person while respecting yourself; express your desires and needs and refuse to do anything that you don’t want to.
Use your creativity and imagination for your pleasure and to enhance the experience. Sharing and tenderness should be a part of any sexual act.
Fears
Often, guys and girls are afraid of their first time for different reasons. It is completely normal to have these fears.
Guys are often concerned about:
- Losing their erection;
- Premature ejaculation;
- Not knowing what to do or not being good enough.
To have a good erection, it is important to be relaxed and not to focus on your fears too much. It is also important to not consume alcohol or drugs because, even though you might feel more confident, your erection may not last as long if you have been consuming.
Premature ejaculation can be corrected. You can practice alone to gain more control over your ejaculations when masturbating.
If you don’t know what to do during sex, talk to your partner about it and ask your partner to guide you through it. Together, you should succeed.
Girls are often concerned about: - Experiencing pain and bleeding upon penetration;
- Being rejected by their partner after consenting to sex or being the subject of gossip at school.
A small membrane called the hymen is located at the opening of the vagina. During the first sexual experience with penetration, this membrane may tear. This could result in mild bleeding and cause mild pain. This is why it is important to be relaxed and take your time. Sometimes, it will take more than one penetration to break the hymen completely. Sometimes, if you use tampons or practice certain sports, this small membrane may already be broken before your first penetration.
Caresses, pleasure, and desire must be part of a sexual experience; otherwise, your body will not release enough vaginal secretions to be properly lubricated. These are key factors to preventing pain or discomfort during penetration.
The cliché is that, for girls, the first time is a secret, and, for guys, it’s something to brag about. This isn’t always true. It is important to talk about your fears before your first sexual experience. If mutual respect is there, there is less risk of an embarrassing situation.
Diappointment
Sometimes, we idealize what our first experience will be like. Often, people are disappointed because they thought it would as they imagined it. This can happen if you do not experience pleasure.
It is important to give yourself time to open up. In time, you will discover what works and become more comfortable. You will figure out what you like and what you don’t like. Picture your first time as a wonderful moment to share with someone you love, regardless of what happens.
Do you feel ready ?
You alone are responsible for your body and your actions, so it is up to you to decide whether or not you are ready to make love. You need to listen to your needs and desires. No one has the right to start something without your consent. Don’t feel that you have to do it because of your age or peer pressure; you risk being disappointed and regretting it later on.
Respect, trust, and communication are the basis of a good sexual relationship. It is very important to feel comfortable with your partner so that you can discuss your concerns and your desires.
There may be consequences…
The possible consequences of a sexual encounter are an unplanned pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease (STD). It is therefore important to plan to use a method of contraception to avoid these problems. These methods include the birth control pill, Depo-Provera, and condoms. Using condoms is the only method that protects effectively against STDs.
Is masturbation taboo ?
Contrary to popular opinion, it is completely normal for both men and women to masturbate. Masturbating is a good way of discovering sexual pleasure, learning what you like, what you don’t like, and learning about your body.
Sexual assault
When you have sex, you should never feel obligated or threatened by the person with whom you are having sex. So, it is important to say no if you don’t want sex. When you say no, and that person doesn’t listen to what you say and keeps going, it is considered sexual assault. Even if you have consumed alcohol or drugs, whether or not you wanted to, it is still sexual assault if you didn’t consent. If you have experienced this situation, it is important not to keep it to yourself and to confide in someone whom you trust and to call Info-santé to find out which hospital is designated to help victims of sexual assault.
INFO-SANTÉ: 310-2572
Last update : July 2014